Give yourself grace. Pause from all the things you think you ‘ought to’ do, ‘should’ do or ‘have to’ do. Who created these expectations anyway?
Dealing with loss/change/grief…when we are in that place…things aren’t the same. We think we can operate as we did before ‘the’ event. During the process, we often don’t give ourselves support, the ones that need it most. We can be there for others but when it comes to ourselves, why don’t we cut ourselves some slack? We think we can still do all the things, like we could before, because, after all, we’ve had enough time to ‘get back to normal’ or we can handle it-right?
But the fact is, we haven’t been sleeping well. We’ve had to make decisions while also going through challenging emotions. We’ve been living a life full of tasks and chores that are on top of what our ‘normal’ lives used to be. Maybe we are even trying to get back to a life we used to have. Returning to a job. Trying to be a contributing partner in a relationship. Returning to the ‘you’ you once were…but are no longer.
Focusing is difficult. Decisions can be near impossible, even ones that seem simple-you know you want to get off the couch but was it for a glass of water or to go to the bathroom? I.don’t.know.
And then you are wondering if how your acting, what you are thinking, saying or doing or, more commonly, not doing, this fog that is surrounding you…is it normal?
Expectation. Comparison. Judgment.
Pause. Give yourself the space you need. Expect less of yourself. No two people's grief/loss is the same. There is no finish line to cross. Go at your own pace-that is what grief is.